Drummer Jokes

• Q: What do you call a drummer with half a brain?
  A: Gifted.
• Q: How do you improve the aerodynamics of a drummer's car?
  A: Take the Domino's Pizza sign off the roof.
• Q: What's the difference between a drummer and government bonds?
  A: Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.
• Q: What does a drummer say when he gets to his paying gig?
  A: "Do you want fries with that?"
• Q: What did little Johnny's mother tell him when he said "I want to be a drummer when I grow up?"
  A: "Johnny, you can't do both."
• Q: Why can't a gorilla play drums?
  A: They're too sensitive.
• Q: What do you say to a drummer in a 3-piece suit?
  A: "Will the defendant please rise..."
• Q: What do you call a drummer who breaks up with his girlfriend?
  A: Homeless.
• Q: Why do drummers have a half-ounce more brains than horses?
  A: So they don't disgrace themselves in the parade.
• Q: How can you tell a drummer is walking behind you?
  A: You can hear his knuckles dragging on the ground.
• Q: What's the difference between a drummer and a drum machine?
  A: You only have to punch the information into the drum machine once.
• Q: Did you hear about the bass player who locked his keys in the car?
  A: he had to break the window to get the drummer out!
• Q: Why do drummers leave their drumsticks on the dashboard?
  A: So they can park in the handicapped zone.
• Q: What's the definition of a gentleman?
  A: One who knows how to play the drums but doesn't.
• Q: Why do bands have bass players?
  A: To translate for the drummers.
• Q: What's the difference between a drummerr and a bag of garbage?
  A: The garbage gets taken out at least once a week.
• Q: How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?
  A: "Why? Oh, Wow... it's like dark in here, man!"
  Alternative Answer: Only one-- but he'll break ten bulbs before figuring out that you can't push them in.
  Alternative Answer: None. They have a machine to do that now.
• Q: What's the difference between a drummer and a sack of shit?
  A: The sack.